the weirdest teen love stories

LOVE AT FIRST SITE

2008-11-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

{Ani & Soraya had met on a Social Networking Site and their’s was a love at first site. And here they finally meet: THE FIRST SIGHT : }

Ani : “ That’s all ??????? Is that you ? Where are the big boobies?”

Soraya : “ And you? Your profile says you have been with tonnes of women !!”

Ani : “ Yeah. The only woman I ever dated was so fat that she weighted 2 tonnes”

Soraya : “ Huh”

Ani : “And now my profile can proudly display that I have been with 5 tonnes of women.”

Soraya : “ I don’t weigh three tonnes”

Ani : “ What was I thinking?”

Soraya : “ Men are always thinking about sex.”

Ani : “ Not all men always think about sex”

Soraya : “ Yeah!! Some are impotent”

Ani : “So Miss IKNOWALLABOUTMEN.Your profile said that you were a porn star”

Soraya : “ And your profile said that you are planning to build a bar in space for astronauts?”

Ani : “ Yeah. Space Bar is the biggest key in keyboard.”

Soraya : “ The biggest liar……………”

BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH

{in the end}

1: Soraya updated her profile. Now she is a tennis player.

2: Ani created a new profile. Now he is Anita : a lesbian who is only looking for girls.

MORAL OF THE NOT-QUITE-A-STORY:

ONLINE DATING = NIL + NO + e-DATING

8 perfect minutes to end a 18 years old life

2008-11-05T07:27:00.000-08:00

Characters:

Ani:

Tara :

{AT A CONCENTRATION CAMP:} by a concentration camp, I am not making any reference to any era in history or future……….. or any region or race or person. Just think about a barbaric situation. People waiting to die, people seeing people dieing.. …..
people knowing they will die within minutes for no fault of theirs.

Ani : “ You smell great”

Tara: “ What?”

Ani : “ I told you smell great”

Tara: “ I told what?”

Ani : “ None of us has bathed for a year and still you smell great”

Tara: “ ……………………….”

Ani : “ If we had met one week earlier ,you would have smelled even great….. say like the goddess of smell”

{A SECURITY GUARD PUSHES ANI AND SHOUTS : “ NO TALKING.JUST KEEP WALKING}

Ani : “ Walking keeps a man healthy. We are walking on the 500 metres path of death. By the time we will finish walking ,we would be lil healthy but you will shoot us ..we will die. But you will be healthy and keep walking and be more healthy”

{ THE SECURITY GUARD HITS HIM WITH GUN AND MOVES TOWARDS THE OTHER END OF LINE}

Tara: “ Ohhhhhhhh. Did that hurt”

Ani : “ No. But I hate the smell of blood “

Tara: “ Oh my God.you are bleeding.”

Ani : “ Yeah. I am practicing dying”

Tara: “ You are so young”

Ani : “ No. I am 18 years old”

Tara: “ You are younger than me. I am 18 and a half”

Ani : “ You have great boobies”

Tara: “ What?”

Ani : “ You didn’t knew that? Don’t you have a mirror at home! “

Tara: “ ………………..”

Ani : “ Keep walking”

Tara: “ Leave my hand”

Ani : “ You are the best thing I ever smelled”

{ SOME ONE SHOUTS : “FIRE” }

Tara: “ A……….n………….i…….”

when hairy met shila

2008-09-25T20:59:00.000-07:00

CHARACTERS:
*ANI
*SHILA
*LISA

{IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT}

Shila : " How are you feeling now?"

Ani : " I had a rough day....from laboratory to lavatory to laboratory to lavatory to mid way to lavatory.......GOD I hate food poisioning"

Shila : " Are you Okay now?"

Ani: " God...........I hate food poisioning"

Shila : " Yeah !!!!! I would never go back to that cafeteria again"

Ani : " Are'nt cafeteria and bacteria anagrams?"

Shila :" No."

Ani : " I hate food poisioning"

Shila : " Cant we talk about anything else?"

Ani : " You mean ani thing else?"

Shila : " No . I didnt meant Ani's thing"

Ani : " And did you saw that movie ' meangirls' "

Shila : " Yeah. And Lindsay Lohan is certainly not a lesbian in that movie"

Ani : " What ??? Are you kidding? Even the name of movie gives you a hint . Meangirls !! Doesnt it sounds like Men -girls"

Shila: " Why are you so obbessed with lesbians?"

Ani : " Hey LESBIANS = BLESS+ANI. Isnt it a great anagram"

Shila : "Cant we talk about anything else?"

Ani : " Why not! Here's a joke. If Nicole Kidman was a woman ,she would be called Nicole Kidwoman"

Shila: "She is a women"

Ani : " What !!! I always thought that Tom Cruise was gay."

Shila : "What ? Lesbians.....lesbians and now Gays?Whats wrong with you"

Ani : " Food poisioning"

Shila: "I meant whats wrong with you?"

Ani : " Food poisioning"

Shila : "How is your work going"

Ani : " Great"

{After a absurd silence of two minutes thirty two seconds, *am so accurate about time coz for these 2 minutes 32 seconds Ani was staring his watch and Shilpa was staring him}

Shilpa : "I dont know what I saw in you when I first saw you"

Ani : "But I know what I saw in you when I first saw you"

Shilpa : "What ?"

Ani : " Your boobs"

Shilpa : " I cant take it any longer"

Ani : "Me too. Lets get a room. There is a motel down there"

Shilpa : "That it. I am going now and you dont try to call me"

Ani : " I havent got your number"

Shilpa : "What????The first day we met I wrote my number on your hand."

Ani : "Yeah......But I was so sexicted after seeing your boobs that I tried to touch myself and that is how your number got erased"
***************

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{ AFTER 5 MINUTES.ANI WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN}

Ani : "Wow. You have a great ribcage"

Girl : " What?"

Ani : "Havent you ever heard of a rib cage?"

Girl :" Again what?"

Ani : "OK. Let me put it your way. You have great boobies"

Girl : "What ?"

Ani : "So what girl...WHATS your name?"

Girl :"LIsa."

Ani :" So Lisa is a LISABIAN?"

Lisa :"What ?"

Ani :" Havent you heard of lesbians before"

Lisa :" I wish I was deaf."

Ani :" You are not deaf but you are certainly like DUFF."

Lisa :" What?"

Ani :" HILary DUFf. Now dont tell me you havent heard of her before."

Lisa :" Whats wrong with you?"

Ani :"FOod poisioning."

Lisa :" Get out of my way."

Ani :" Will you like to see a movie with me?"

Lisa :" No"

Ani :"So...You like only Chick flicks,....Come on..I am not telling you to watch ESPN"

Lisa :"I LOVE ESPN"

Ani :" I LOVE ESPN is anagram for LOVE PENIS"

Lisa :"Dont make me kill you"

Ani :"Can I have the Kiss . That my last wish before dying."

Lisa :" Get out of my WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

Ani :" Are you breaking up with me?"

Lisa :"What?"

Ani :" If girls were mosquitoes i would be the worlds greatest mosquito repellant"

Lisa :"Why would girls be mosquitoes?"

Ani :" I meant MOSS-quito"

Lisa :"What "

Ani : " havent you heard of kate MOSS"

*******************

******************

And this is how Lisa and Shila ended to be lesbians.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU VOMIT ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND ! PART 1

2008-08-30T10:15:00.001-07:00

CHARACTERS:
*ANI
*RANI

{at Rani's house}

Rani : " I cant still believe it. How could you vomit on me? I have never seen anything more disgusting."

Ani : " Have you ever seen an old woman vomiting through her nose?"

Rani : " At least she did'nt vomit on me."

Ani : " Am I the only one who ever vomited on my girlfriend?

Rani : " Yeah. The rest Mr. IVOMITONMYGIRLFRIEND died single"

Ani : " Everyone dies single. If you cant take your house with you...how can you take your girlfriend."

Rani : "..............."

Ani : " Things could have been worse............"

Rani : " Yeah.....!!!!!!!!!!! If the gastric content got in your respiratory tract you would be in hospital right now. But the bright part is then we would be still together"

Ani : " The bonds of love are too strong to be broken over silly things like vomiting."

Rani : " Which bonds of love? I think they drowned in your pool of vomit"

Ani : " Hey its not like I kissed another girl !"

Rani : "..............."

Ani : " Hey you know.............kissing a girl and vomiting on her are almost same. Both spoil her make-up"

Rani : " I feel sorry for the girl who will kiss you. WHAT IF YOU VOMIT ON HER...... I MEAN IN HER WHEN SHE IS KISSING YOU?"

Ani :"Why are you making it such a big deal?"

Rani : " Its a big deal"

Ani : In my defense.......... I had eaten your favorite pizza. So technically when I was vomiting on you.............................."

Rani : " Oh stop it. Every word you say reminds me of that...I want to forget it but cant.............."

Ani : " May be when you are 60 years old and You have alziemers and you are lost in a street and forgotten your way to home and yeah...also forgotten that I once vomited on you ...I will be standing in a corner with a blue umbrella"

Rani : "Bye. So meet you after 40 years.............and hey i just remembered you havent yet returned my blue umbrella. "

MORAL OF THE INCOMPLETE STORY : IF YOU VOMIT ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND YOU MAY HAVE TO GIVE HER UMBRELLA BACK"

NOTE : UNLIKE MOST OF MY STORIES...I HAVENT COMPLETED THIS ONE.
PART 2 WILL BE WRITTEN BY MY FRIENDS.

NOT ANOTHER TEEN STORY

2008-08-24T06:44:00.000-07:00

CHARACTERS :

1} Vandana : a 19 years old girl.

2} Rohan : Vandans's boyfriend.

3} Ani

{ Scene : Inside a multiplex! The movie is about to begin. Ani is relaxing at his seat . Enters Vandana and Rohan }

Rohan : " Whats so special about this movie? Why are we seeing it again ?"

Vandana : " Coz its a great movie. I love romantic movies."

Rohan : " Were you born in Rome?"

Vandana : " What ? Each year you forget my birthday and now you are suspecting that I am a foreigner "

Rohan : "No Silly ! Roman...romantic..........dont you get it?"

Vandana : " No"

{THEY BOTH SIT NEXT TO ANI}

Rohan : " How could'nt you not get it? It was such a great joke . I think you dont have a sense of humor ."

Vandana : " Yeah....i dont have a sense of humor ! and you know what else I dont have .........................................?"

Ani : " Big Boobs "

Vandana : " What?"

Ani : " I think I will get some popcorn. Do you want some ?"

{ANI WALKS AWAY}

Vandana : " Whats wrong with you ? Why did'nt you said ani thing to him ?"

Rohan : " What do you think ? That I am a Roman Gladiator ? and that i will kill everyone who dares to talk with you ?"

Vanadana : " You and your Roman jokes ."

Rohan : " It was not a joke .I was serious ."

{ANI RETURNS }

Ani : " Hey they have some problem ! The movie will start 10 minutes after the scheduled time "

Vandana : " This is shit ."

Ani : " Wow. She has a greaty sense of humor "

Rohan : " Thats funny ????????"

Ani : " Yeah. THIS is anagram for SHIT ."

Rohan : " ROME is anagram for MORE "

Ani : " What ? Do you want me to say that you are fuuny too?"

Rohan : " Vandana ! I will be back in a minute ."

Vandana : " Take your time "

{ROHAN WALKS AWAY AND THERE IS AN WAKWARD SILENCE FOR 1 MINUTE }

Ani : " Hi both of you "

Vandana : " I am alone here "

Ani : " I was talking to your boobs "

Vandana : " You cant talk to them. Their face has been tied with clothes ."

Ani : " You are the funniest girl I have ever seen ! LOLZZZZZZZZZ "

Vandana : " If you want you can talk with me !!"

Ani : " But i will prefer to set them free !"

Vandana : " Oh stop it."

Ani : " But I am a lil confused.Let me say I am confused like a naked man who is trying to keep his hands in his pocket"

Vandana : " If you want you can keep your hands in my pocket."

ani : " I am not naked "

Vandana : " So what are you confused about ?"

Ani : " How can that jerk be your boyfriend ? I GUESS THAT HE WAS A FROG AND YOU MET HIM IN A JUNGLE AND YOU KISSED HIM AND HE TURNED INTO SOMETHING UGLIER "

Vandana : " You are funny ! "

Ani : " If you would kiss me I would happy to be that frog ! "

Vandana : " { CRYING } Where were you for these 19 years ?"

Ani : " Waiting to meet you ."

Vandana : " But what about Rohan ? I will have to break up with him now.Can you do tell him ?"

Ani : " OKAY you wait here. I will tell him "

Vandana : " Be back soon. Now I cant live without you even for a second ."

ani : " You mean by the time I will be back you will be dead ? Can you give me one last kiss ?"

{ ANI FINDS ROHAN IN THE MENS ROOM }

Ani : " Here you are ! I looked for you all over the place ."

Rohan : " Did you looked in the colosseum "

Ani : " Oh my God. You are so funny ! They should have changed the word romantic to ROHANtic."

Rohan : " You really think so ?"

Ani : " Yeah !"

{AFTER 5 MINUTES }

Rohan : " I never thought I will say this but will you be my boyfriend. And please do me a favor ....Can you tell Vandana that I am breaking up with her !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

MORAL OF THE STORY : IF YOU ARE CUTE LIKE ANI , YOU CAN HAVE ANY GIRL. JUST BEWARE OF THEIR BOYFRIENDS.

INSTEAD OF BECOMING A GREENER PLACE THE WORLD IS NOW BECOMING A GAY-ER PLACE.

two girlfriends.....marriage and many strippers

2008-07-24T06:24:00.000-07:00

this is my first story:

ENJOY.

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At a beautiful beach in Delhi.Wait a nano-second........there is no beach in Delhi.So...lets say.....at a beautiful and quiet restaurant in Delhi.}

Ani : " If you were a girl,we would have four beautiful kids by now."

Anita : " I am a girl."

Ani : " Then where are our kids ?"

Anita : " This is not funny."

Ani : " I know."

Anita : "And four kids? I am only 20 years old. "

Ani : " I was talking about two twins.And hey you said that you are 16 years old."

Anita : " I am not 16. And when the hell I told you that I am 16 years old?"

Ani : " 4 years ago."

Anita : " I have to go."

Ani : " Bye."

Anita : "I told that I have to go."

Ani : " I told bye."

Anita : " To begin with, I dont know how to drive."

Ani : " You must not be ashamed of that. No girl knows that."

Anita : " And to end it, you brought me here and you are taking me back."

************
************

{Next day........same place, Ani and his friends minus Anita are there}

Aditya : " I cant believe it Ani. You are getting married and Anita ?????????????? You cant marry your best worst friend."

Abhi : " You guys suck."

Ani : " If things dont work out.....we would have nothing to lose. We fight all the time now and after marriage we would have license to fight."

Abhi : " Then congrats."

Ani : " I hate rats."

Abhi : " What?"

Aditya : " I personally think that Alpana was better."

Ani : " Yeah. She had bigger boobs."

Aditya : " I didnt meant that ."

Ani : " You mean that she didnt had big boobs"

Aditya : " I didnt meant that too."

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{At Ani's Bachelor party}

Aditya : " I am so exicted. I have never seen a stripper before."

Abhi : " I have seen one before and that makes me more exicted."

Ani : " I am getting married and why doesnt that excites me?"

Aditya : " I know you are confused. You cant chose between Alpana and Anita. But heyyyyyyy.............you last saw Alpana about 1 year ago. You dont even know what she is doing now."

Abhi : " Remember if Anita is an egg then Alpana is an ommelete.Either you have an egg or you have an ommelete. You can have only one for breakfast."

Ani : " I am not talking about break fast. I need someone for my whole life."

Aditya : " And with these new life saving drugs....you may live upto 150 years."

{A knock at the gate and enters the stripper}

Aditya : " You???????"

Abhi : " You???????????????????????"

ani : " Alpana ??????????????????????????????? "

Alpana : " Ani ???????????????????????????????????????????? "

Abhi : " You are a stripper now?"

Ani : " Where were you all these days ? And you dont need to do that ."

***********************
***********************

{Same restaurant }

Aditya : " You were right Ani. She had really big boobs."

Ani : " You are talking about my ex girlfriend."

Aditya : " I am so sorry."

Ani : " What am I gonna do? Anita dumped me too."

Abhi : " I am so sorry for you."

Ani : " I am not crying. And heyyyyyyyyyyyy why are you rubbing that pink piece of cloth on my face."

Abhi : " Thats my hanky panky."

Aditya : "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

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{After 2 years }
{At Ani's Bachelor Party}
Ani : " Wow. Finally I am getting married."

Abhi : " And I am not gay anymore."

Aditya : " And we are not room partners any more."

{A knock at the gate and enters the stripper}

Abhi : "you??????????????????????"

Aditya : " YOU?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????"

Ani : "Anita ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "

Anita : " Wow. My first day as a stripper and..............................."